A Version of Always
by BayWest
Summary: Just my take on Always based on the Ausiello spoilers. Even if I'm way off base, hopefully this helps a few of us get to May 7th in one piece! One Shot.


_Just my take on Always based on the Ausiello spoilers. Even if I'm way off base, hopefully this helps a few of us get to May 7th in one piece!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

The door shuts loudly behind them and she hears him turn the deadbolt with extra force. She doesn't turn around to look but she is pretty certain he is shoving a piece of furniture in front of the double locked door, judging by the sounds of his grunts and the scratching against the floor.

It no longer matters that he lives in a secure building with a doorman, that make little difference when it comes to trained military assassins. Which is what they are dealing with, whether she wants to admit it or not.

And she and Richard Castle are their number one and two targets.

She feels for the gun on her hip as a comfort mechanism, just to make sure it is still there, still ready in the case they might need it.

She has another one strapped to her ankle and her third she passed off to Castle on the way here, while making him promise he would use it if necessary to protect himself. Even if it means she would be placed in danger.

They are both short on words, there is little left to say about the situation. They had spent the past 24 hrs running for their lives after uncovering more and more about her mother's case...and in turn, her own shooting.

She has to feel some sense of irony that her mother's case has basically become her own. All the same players involved, just different generations.

She knows if the afterlife exists that her mother must be furious with her for dragging her own self into the crosshairs.

_One victim, is one too many Katie. Stop._

That is what she would tell her if she were still here.

But there is no turning back at this point.

The most they can do is wait, wait for them to come, because they both know that they will.

As much faith as she has in Esposito, Ryan and Gates, she knows it's not enough to stop the inevitable.

She can only hope that she and Castle are prepared enough to face them down a final time when they arrive.

"Do you want some coffee? Anything to eat?"

His voice is soft, almost scared. She can see her gun tucked into the back of his jeans, the handle glistening against the faint moonlight that streams through his shut blinds.

"Coffee would be great..."

She wipes her sweaty palms down her jeans and shrugs off her black leather jacket onto the couch.

"We're going to be safe here Kate...we'll just wait to hear from the guys that everything is clear..."

She can tell he barely believes his own words but she nods in agreement, just to offer up reassurance.

It took him nearly an hour to beg her to come back to his place. She wanted to keep hunting them, taking to the streets and alleys if they needed to but he was insistent, pleading with her that they needed to hunker down somewhere safe. Together.

She felt like it was giving up. Hiding. Waiting to be hunted.

He insisted it was smarter this way, that taking her out of the scenario would cause them to need to look more places and they might make mistakes that the team could catch onto.

At the end of the argument she finally gave in. Not because she believed him but because she loves him.

"I wish we had grabbed the files first, we could research from here..."

She could piece together nearly every minor detail of her mother's case from memory but she liked having the visuals in front of her.

She hears him shift his weight, setting his coffee cup on the counter, scratching his hair and staring her down with a mix of hesitation and secrecy.

"I have...I have something to show you..."

Such familiar words. She said them to him just last year, leading him to the shutters in her own loft, lined with photos and case details.

He nods towards his study as he walks and she follows without question.

He fumbles around with his desk until he finds a remote, clicking on the glowing plasma screen in front of them.

The light fills the dark study and she finds herself staring back at her photo. Montgomery's. Her mother's. A slew of familiar faces bunched together, lines connecting all of them.

He has a murder board. Just like the one at the precinct. Just like the one lining her living room shutters.

"I'm sorry."

The way he says it, it is as if she is supposed to be angry with him. But she isn't.

It doesn't matter if he isn't "a real cop", he thinks like one, maybe even more than she does, so she would expect nothing less from him than the need to theorize.

She understands how the cases can haunt you and sometimes writing them out is the only way to empty the never ending thoughts.

"You've been working the case? Have you found anything?"

She keeps her response gentle, letting him know she isn't angry but he shakes his head immediately, furrowing his brow.

"I haven't so much as been working the case...as keeping you away from it."

For the first time she looks past her own name on the board and sees one that she doesn't recognize.

She tries to unscramble his words in her head but she can't stop staring at the name without a photo, a line linking directly to her and Montgomery.

Smith.

"Who...who is Smith?"

He sighs with her question, setting down the remote.

"After you were shot, I received a phone call from someone who said his name was Smith...an alias I'm sure...and that he was a friend of Montgomery's. He promised you protection but in return...I had to promise to keep you from investigating the case."

She peels her eyes from the murder board and looks at him. He no longer sounds scared, just matter of fact.

"I'm sorry Kate...I knew if I told you...you would want to keep looking...and I needed...I wanted...to keep you safe."

This was her case. Her mother's murder. The gunshot ripped through her chest. Not his. She had a right to know.

She swallows her own anger in exchange for more information from him.

"Well..who is he? How does he contact you? Have you talked to him since?"

She has more questions where those came from but she gives him a chance to respond.

"I don't know who he is...he just calls sometimes but he always knows what we're up to, cases we're working on. He helped with the Mayor's case, he provided me information because if the Mayor went down, I went with him and no one would be there to keep you from looking into the case anymore...Kate, I did this to protect you."

She doesn't doubt that. Not for a second. Even though they've had a rough few months, she's never once doubted that he wants the best for her.

"What about now? With this case? What has he said?"

Castle looks away from her, which causes her stomach to drop. He picks at the desk, chewing his lip.

"That...I failed. I didn't keep you away. So that's why they are coming after you...us...and he can't stop them anymore."

Heat rushes to her head, her heart rises into her chest. She feels her palms line with sweat again.

"Who is them! How could he ever stop them? Castle if you told me we could have looked into his background..."

He jumps back on her words immediately.

"I couldn't tell you Kate! You were..spiraling! You were hanging on by a thread after that shooting and I knew if I told you, you would just run right back into the line of fire without a second thought!...I couldn't face losing you again!"

He's pacing now, running his hands through his hair.

She can't tell if she's mad at him or hurt by him. Something is burning in her chest, pounding in her head.

"It's been 7 months Castle! You could have told me at any point...if someone out there has information about my case...about my mother's case, I have a right to know!"

Betrayed. She's maybe a little mad. And hurt. But she feels betrayed by the one person in this world that she's trusted with her deepest, darkest secrets.

Almost, all of her secrets.

"Look Kate, you can be mad at me. You can hate me. But I was the one kneeling over you that day in the cemetery, I saw what happened to you and I didn't want to see that happen again to someone that I love...loved..."

Love.

Loved.

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. Slamming into her chest, causing her to violently inhale. His eyes are wild with emotion, a line of sweat forming on his forehead as he pushes back his hair.

"Loved?"

Her voice cracks with the question and she wants to stop the tears from piling up behind her eyes but she can't, they cloud of her vision and she has no control over the feeling that someone is choking the life out of her.

Dr. Burke was right. He doesn't feel the same anymore.

"Well what am I supposed to do Kate? You don't feel the same way, I have to be realistic about this situation..."

This is all too much for her brain to handle. Smith. The murder board. The lockdown in his apartment. The latin kings. It's all swirling in her head and now, he thinks she doesn't love him?

"Why...why would you say that I don't feel the same way?"

He stops pacing, closer to her than before, squaring his broad shoulders to her.

"I heard you. The bombing. Bobby's interrogation. I heard you tell him that you remember everything. I guess I wasn't the only one with a secret was I?"

His voice is painfully even, unemotional. She immediately wants to throw herself at him, explaining everything in one swift breath, promising him that he is confused. But her feet don't move.

"I wasn't ready after the shooting...I needed time..."

He nods, unsympathetic.

"Well you said it yourself Kate, it's been 7 months.. and I would have waited 7 more. 17 more."

She instantly hates herself. She knows she was healing, working so hard to be more than the person she was 7 months ago but even the best laid plans...

"So now it's too late? Now you won't wait?"

"What am I waiting for?"

He responds immediately and she steps closer to him, mustering up every ounce of courage she's been stockpiling for 4 years. Every time she resisted touching his hand. Every time she kept herself from brushing back the hair from his forehead. Every almost kiss and cliffhanger moment comes down to this.

"Me. Because I love you."

She locks into his blue eyes, they are now a hazy gray with stress and worry, and she watches him swallow hard at her admission.

"You...you do?"

She nods. Letting the words hang in the air between them. Filling the already tense room with a new level of passion, chemistry, foreplay.

Before she can say anything else, he slips his hand behind her head like she remembers from before. Her hair falling in between his fingers.

His face hovers inches from her, his breath close enough that she can feel it against her lips.

There's no interruption this time. No roundhouse kick. No Ryan walking into the break room. No one but the two of them, now millimeters apart, her hands finding his strong chest as he pulls her into his mouth.

It's better than she ever remembers. His lips soft and welcoming, teasing her with small kisses before allowing himself to give in to her craving for more.

Their tongues work against one another in perfect rhythm, her teeth finding his lip with a small moan.

His strong hands pull her body flush against his and she can feel the heat of his skin through his clothes.

She refuses to peel her lips from his, telling herself over and over that this isn't a dream. This isn't a fantasy.

This is really happening.

She doesn't even have time to think about Smith or the secrets, they've since melted away in her mind, everything has been made right again with this expression of love.

She inhales against his mouth as she feels his hands work their way under her thin sweater, his cool fingers flat against her back.

"Do you want me to stop?"

He pulls away for just a second, raising his eyebrows, his face serious and his lips flushed red.

She shakes her head, crashing back into him, working on the buttons of his flannel shirt, pulling it down around his strong shoulders. She replaces her hands on his shoulders with her mouth, kissing her way along his chest, feeling his heart literally beating against her lips.

She needs this. She wants this.

She's never been more sure that this is the right decision for both of them. Maybe it's in haste. Maybe it's ill advised in such stressful circumstances.

Sure they have unresolved issues left hanging but doesn't every couple? No relationship is baggage free.

But they've reached this moment together, giving and taking from one another for 4 longs years in preparation for this moment.

She's never been a better version of herself and even at her worst, he loved her.

And he clearly loves her now, as he holds his weight above her, brushing her long hair from her face and offering up a small grin, like he's thinking the exact same thoughts as she.

Finally.  
_


End file.
